When We Stop Playing Games by Ray Pritchard

The call came from an old friend, someone I have known for over 40 years. His marriage was in serious trouble, and more importantly, he saw clearly that unless he changed from the inside out, what happened to his marriage wouldn’t really matter. His wife wasn’t the problem, although she has her issues to deal with, and his rocky marriage was only a symptom of deeper problems. “It’s not her fault. She’s not the issue, I’m the issue. For a long time I’ve been struggling with my anger. I’ve decided that I can’t go on this way. A long time ago I had a close relationship with the Lord and I’d like to get it back. I know that forgiveness is a huge issue in my life and when I drink, that’s when my anger seems to come out and I end up saying stupid things and hurting my wife.”
Everything he said was true. Nothing was exaggerated or blown out of proportion. “I’ve decided to go see the pastor of the church we’ve started attending. How much should I tell him about our marriage? I’m not trying to hide anything, I don’t want to focus on my wife when I’ve got to deal with my own problems.” Just tell the pastor… Click here to read the rest of this blog post by Pastor Ray Pritchard.

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Envy, Anger and Forgiveness

Listen to this new podcast by Pastor Ray Pritchard: Envy, Anger and Forgiveness

For more resources visit www.whatsgoodaboutanger.com

Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC, CAMS-IV
CounselCare Connection, P.C. – Anger Management Institute
2000 Spring Road, Suite 603 – Oak Brook, IL 60523
630-368-1880, ext.1 

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What is Anger Management Trainer & Specialist Certification?

What is Anger Management Trainer/Specialist Certification?
The Anger Management Institute offers certification in anger management for mental health counselors, social workers, pastors, educators, health professionals, probation and law enforcement officers, leaders and facilitators through our distance-learning courses and trainer certification workshops.
These programs provide participants with skills for teaching, coaching and counseling clients and students to manage their anger. The curriculum includes topics covering an overview of anger, assessment and progress tools, effective and research-based strategies for managing anger, 12-week guide for teaching groups or coaching individuals, marketing tips, facilitation skills and more!
Two designations are granted: Certified Anger Management Trainer with the Anger Management Institute (AMI) and Certified Anger Management Specialist-1 with the National Anger Management Association (NAMA).
How can I be certified?
Once you complete the live workshops or a DVD home-study program – you will be credentialed as a CAMT: Certified Anger Management Trainer through the Anger Management Institute.
After attending the workshops participants also qualify to become a National Anger Management Association “Anger Management Specialist-1” upon application and payment of the NAMA $100.00 membership fee. After successfully completing the AMI DVD training program participants need to take 4 phone supervision sessions (extra fee) with the Anger Management Institute. Then, participants may apply and pay the NAMA membership fee to receive the specialist designation.
Visit the Anger Management Institute shopping mall for a description of the new 7.5. hour DVD home-study program and the live 2-day workshops.
Register for the August 5-6, 2010 workshops by downloading this PDF registration form.  Licensed professionals will receive up to 12 CEs when you attend both days. Approved for 12 CEs by the National Board of Certified Counselors and the National Association of Social Workers. Call Lynette Hoy to register at: 708.341.5438.
Can I use this certification from the Anger Management Institute to teach Anger Management classes?
…Yes, absolutely. Currently, there are no state laws that regulate anger management providers; therefore, trained and certified providers by credentialed programs should offer anger management classes, groups and courses.

What makes your organization reputable?
… The National Board of Certified Counselors and the National Association of Social Workers have both approved the Anger Management Institute Trainer’s Workshops for continuing education training (total 12 CEs) for LSWs, LCSWs, LPCs, LCPCs and NCCs. Our program has been accepted and approved by the U.S. Probation Office in Tacoma, Washington, and the Cook and McHenry County Circuit courts in Illinois.
The National Anger Management Association: http://www.namass.org/ has approved and endorsed our trainer programs – both home-study and live workshops – qualifying participants to become a NAMA Certified Anger Management Specialist-I immediately after attending the 2 day training; or after taking a home-study program plus 4 phone training sessions.
Our core trainers are experienced, professional marriage and family counselors. Each has been designated -Certified Anger Management Specialist-IV, Diplomate, Supervisor and Consultant with the National Anger Management Association: James Bedell, PsyD., Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC, and Steve Yeschek, LCSW.
Lynette is the co-author of all the What’s Good About Anger? editions and the author of all workbooks and trainer manuals. James, Lynette and Steve have trained hundreds of clients, students and professionals in anger management.

Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC, CAMS-IV
CounselCare Connection, P.C. – Anger Management Institute
630-368-1880, ext.1

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How to Measure Emotional Intelligence…

Some Anger Management Trainers/Professionals and Specialists would like to assess the EI of their clients. The Conover company and the Hay Group (Daniel Goleman) offer EI assessment. I don’t use Conover because of the expense and the complexity.  Trainers might find the Hay Group resources and assessment more reasonable and flexible. 

For anger management training and education- I think Trainers/educators need to focus on helping people identify and gain skills to better manage anger for acheiving personal and relational goals. Thus, I suggest teaching the empathy aspect of EI once individuals have grown in self-awareness and management. 

We offer an empathy inventory in our books and workbooks. It is very practical and helps individuals identify their strengths and weaknesses on a personal basis. 

Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC, CAMS-IV
Anger Management Institute
Oak Brook, IL 60523
630-368-1880

http://www.whatsgoodaboutanger.com/

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Anger and Bitterness- Good Riddance!

Pastor Ray Pritchard writes in the Keep Believing Ministries blog the following:
“Last Monday (December 28) was Good Riddance Day in Times Square.  Organizers encouraged people to write their grievances down and then throw the lists into shredders symbolizing the act of letting go of painful memories, bad experiences, foolish mistakes, bad relationships, dumb choices, and long-held grudges that had been gunking up their insides. Participants could use a sledgehammer in case the shredder didn’t provide enough emotional release.One blogger clearly loves the idea:

I think this is becoming one of my favorite holidays!!! Today’s the chance to say Good Riddance to something… and I’m making quite a list!!!

There is something almost irresistible about the idea of “out with the old, in with the new.” Sometimes we need to say “good riddance” to the pain and hurt of the past. To do that we’re going to have to find the courage to let go of our anger, say farewell to our bitterness, and cast off our malice toward those who have hurt us deeply.

We must learn to forgive. Until we do that we can never go forward. As long as we live in the past, we will be chained to the past, and the people who have hurt us deeply win a double victory-once when they hurt us the first time and twice when we refuse to let go and move on.

I learned this many years ago in the first church I pastored right out of seminary. One year I surveyed the congregation and asked them to choose the topics for a series I called “The Marriage Clinic.” It was so successful that the next year I did the same thing for a series called “The Family Clinic.” When I surveyed the congregation two years in a row, only one topic was repeated. And that topic ended up receiving the most votes both years.  It was “How to Handle Anger and Bitterness.” I remember being flabbergasted at the results so I asked my wife why that topic came in # 1 both years. With characteristic wisdom, she replied, “I guess it’s because our people have a lot of anger and bitterness.”

We all struggle with broken relationships, people who hurt us, painful words, deceitful actions, friends who turn against us, and unkind words said about us or our loved ones.

The Great Offender

The following two things seem to be true about the human condition: We always need forgiveness and we always have someone we need to forgive….” Read the rest of this sermon on the KBM site!

Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC, CAMS-IV
CounselCare Connection, P.C. – Anger Management Institute
2000 Spring Road, Suite 603 – Oak Brook, IL 60523

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7 Reasons Not to Speak When You Are Angry – Dr. Ray Pritchard

“This morning I woke up thinking about the dangers of speaking when you are angry. Yesterday I chatted with a friend in Nashville who said that he had been meditating on Proverbs 11:17, “Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you” (NLT). Some Bible passages need explanation; others, like this verse, speak for themselves. And that set me to thinking about Proverbs 15:1, which says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare” (NLT). We’ve all tried it both ways, haven’t we? And we’ve learned the hard way about harsh words stirring up anger.So why shouldn’t we speak when we are angry?….” Read the rest of this important blog post by: Ray Pritchard » 7 Reasons Not to Speak When You Are Angry »
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Violence Between Couples is Usually Calculated…

Violence Between Couples Is Usually Calculated, And Does Not Result From Loss Of Control, Study Suggests ScienceDaily (Oct. 26, 2009) —

Violence between couples is usually the result of a calculated decision-making process and the partner inflicting violence will do so only as long as the price to be paid is not too high. This is the conclusion of a new study by Dr. Eila Perkis at the University of Haifa. “The violent partner might conceive his or her behavior as a ‘loss of control’, but the same individual, unsurprisingly, would not lose control in this way with a boss or friends,” she explains. Read this article on Science Daily..

Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC, CAMS-IV
CounselCare Connection, P.C. – Anger Management Institute
2000 Spring Road, Suite 603 – Oak Brook, IL 60523

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Unless You Forgive…

by Pastor Ray Pritchard (May 12, 2009)
By refusing to forgive, you block off the channel of God’s blessing in your life. Although there is freedom in Christ, the unforgiving Christian knows nothing about it. Download the podcast: Unless You Forgive

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