Anger at Work…. July 5, 2007

I don’t really know where to begin…

I’m 22. I work at a daycare, and each day I take care of between 6-10 children from age of 7 mo. – 1 year 4 mo. It is stressful. The kids cry non stop. I am always running around like my head is cut off, my boss is very bad at what she does, and the place is always understaffed.
Not to mention my co teacher in the room complains 24/7 not only about the workplace but her life in general.

I seriously, have lost it. I have serious anger issues. I get angry at the littlest things. I know that 99%… I probably have depression

I have extremely HUGE anxiety and stress.
Last week two days in a row I went home and looked in the mirror, and there were hives all over my chest. and on my neck.

I can’t quit my job because I need money big time, another stressful part of my life. I’m trying to find a new job…
My point is I am afraid that I take my anger out on the kids. at certain points all I see myself doing is yelling. I Can’t take the crying anymore. I can’t take my co teacher complaining ALL DAY about the same stuff every day.

I guess its a venting I dunno… any advice on how to calm down? How not to be so mad at work. I love my kids. I dont want to take my anger out on em. (I would NEVER hit them, I just get cranky with them).
I have issues with my boyfriend too which causes me unbelieveable anxious stress….
Any advice?  thank you in advance.   Signed, Anonymous

Answer:  Dear Friend, you need a new job. In the meantime – until you find or train for other jobs – I suggest you make a plan to defuse your anger this way:

1. Take a time-out as suggested whenever you can. Remove yourself – even for a few minutes – to calm down. Do some deep breathing.

2. Start changing your self-talk. Write out recent scenarios and what you said to yourself which may have caused you to become more provoked with anger. Change your self-talk to incoporate phrases like this:
“I don’t need to let this minor issue upset me.”
“This person isn’t capable of dealing with their problems. Maybe he/she is just having a bad day.”
“Take a deep breath. Don’t let this – crying, demanding, event- trouble you. You have more important concerns than this.”
“I can cope with this. I can try to manage this situation.”
“What will this issue matter to me in a week or so?”.
Some people find prayer a helpful intervention as well.

3. Get support. If a situation gets so bad – you need to ask a co-worker or your supervisor for help. Or maybe you need to ask for a change of patients/students. Get a counseling evaluation for your depression.

4. Stress management. Make sure you have time to wind-down after work. Get some evercise and take time to meditate or pray. Cut down on the stress in the rest of your life. You have more control over the stressful challenges you face personally than you do at work.

Listen to these podcasts: 4 Q’s to Disarming Anger
and Talk Yourself Out of Anger!
See all of the Quick Tips for Managing Anger podcasts at: www.whatsgoodaboutanger.com/podcasts.xml

Here are some resources to teach you skills for managing your anger: What’s Good About Anger? .
_________________
Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
What’s Good About Anger podcasts, blog, resources

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