Keeping Your Cool with Crazy-makers

Question:
What can I do to manage my anger when someone is trying to provoke me? I am dealing with a woman who won’t listen, is disrespectful, unreasonable and demanding. It’s driving me crazy!

Answer:
That woman wants to make you mad and is looking for a fight. If you show you are angry - or that you can’t control your anger - she’s achieved her goal of controlling your emotions and life. Making you angry - makes her feel powerful and could make you look like a fool if you’re not careful.
What are the principles you need to consider when dealing with a crazy-maker?
1. Don’t play their game. Understand who you are dealing with.
2. Keep your cool.
3. Keep to the issue. Don’t get side-tracked.
4. Repeat your requests or the facts.
5. State the bottom-line and don’t move off of it.

Crazy-makers are happy if they can make you crazy with them, get you all wired-up and throw everything but, the kitchen sink at you.
You have a choice about how you respond or deal with a crazy-maker. Either they are not in touch with reality or they are consumed with their lives and don’t care about others.
Don’t go crazy with them. You might need to walk away if they can’t listen and respect you, deal fairly with the facts and your opinion. Consider applying what Jesus said in these relationships, “be wise as serpents yet, gentle as doves.”

© copyright 2005 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC. Lynette is a Marriage and Family Counselor with CounselCare Connection, National Certified Counselor, Anger Management Specialist-IV and Diplomate with the National Anger Management Association. She is the co-author of What’s Good About Anger? and a speaker for community, women’s and church organizations.

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