Sincerely, K. NY
Answer:
Dear K,
Thank you for your question about my beliefs and what we teach in our book on anger management. Ted Griffin and I co-authored What’s Good About Anger? which takes a biblical view of anger management. I think that you –as a Catholic — would appreciate the scriptural premise we teach throughout the book. We use the Old Testament example of Nehemiah as the main biblical model for managing anger along with New Testament principles and verses.
In the chapter on The Role of Faith – we state in order to demonstrate a godly or righteous anger one must have faith in God because Romans 1:17 states: “the righteous shall walk by faith”.
People misunderstand what faith is nowadays. It is not just acknowledging that there is a God. We teach that real faith occurs when one completely surrenders their life to God.
There is hurdle which prevents people from being reconciled to God. St. Paul writes about this obstacle in Romans 3:23: “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. In other words, we are not able to enter into God’s presence and be fully accepted by Him because He is holy and we are not. Our sin separates us from Him and we are destined to die and be forever cut off from Him because Romans 6:23 reads: “the wages of sin is death…” and then, this verse goes on to give the only hope for our salvation: “but, the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”.
The focus of the book demonstrates how to direct anger into faith, assertiveness, problem-solving and forgiveness. The faith aspect is central to the inner change one needs in order to acquire supernatural help for managing anger.
Romans 10:9-10 states: “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”
The Bible teaches us that real Christianity is all about knowing and believing in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. We must believe that only through Christ can we be fully cleansed of our sins and only through faith in Him are we granted eternal life. We cannot depend on anything else for our salvation… No sacrament… baptism… good work… confirmation… communion … human pastor or priest can make us right before God. Only when we believe in Christ and His finished work on the cross – that His death completely paid the penalty for the sins of the world (those of us who believe) and when we trust that His resurrection brings us justification before a holy God – will we be fully reconciled to God.
Then, as Christians, as we grow in faith … we will allow God to control our anger … turning the energy that springs from it into something good and using it for His purposes.
So, maybe you are thinking that this sounds good but, it is different than I am being taught in my church. I would challenge you to consider what Jesus and scripture teach. Compare and contrast what the Bible teaches and what your church teaches about how you can be forgiven and get to heaven. In John 14:6 Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but, by me.” In other words, you can’t get to heaven and have a relationship with God unless you fully trust in Christ and His work.
Jesus told Martha in the gospels, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me – though he dies – yet, shall he live. Do you believe this?” That is the ultimate question for every man, woman and child.
Believing in Christ sets us free from sin and death and walking by faith in Him – provides us with Holy Spirit power for living and allows God to use our anger for His purposes.
I hope this helps you. If you would like to learn more about faith read: How to Know God Personally and send me your address for the free book: An Anchor for the Soul by Dr. Ray Pritchard. God bless you!
~ © copyright 2005 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC. Lynette is a Marriage and Family Counselor with CounselCare Connection, National Certified Counselor, Anger Management Specialist-IV and Diplomate with the National Anger Management Association. She is the co-author of What’s Good About Anger? and a speaker for community, women’s and church organizations.