Steps to forgivingness: In order to proceed from bitterness or unforgiveness to forgiveness we need to :
1. Know and experience Christ’s love and forgiveness deeply in our lives. Col. 3:13
2. Make a choice to forgive. Eph. 4:32 Read Forgiveness is a Choice.
3. Overcome internal resistances (automatic thoughts & beliefs) which block forgiveness. Phil. 4:8, *read What Makes Forgiveness so Hard
4. Increase our empathy towards others. Eph. 4:32
5. Surrender our lives to God continually so the fruit of the Holy Spirit can flow through us to others: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control. Gal. 5:22-3
6. Have faith that God will judge all the wrongs in the world. Make the decision to leave revenge and justice up to Him because Prov. 20:22 says “Do not say, “I’’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and He will deliver you.” and Rom 12:19 “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”
Lewis Smedes wrote in Forgive and Forget: “love is the power behind forgiveness”.
I would add that it is Christ’s love and grace which provides the basis for forgiveness, giving us supernatural power to forgive others, the power to overcome resentment, the power to redeem relationships and show God’s love to a hurting world.
© copyright 2005 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC. Lynette is a Marriage and Family Counselor with CounselCare Connection, National Certified Counselor, Anger Management Specialist-IV and Diplomate with the National Anger Management Association. She is the co-author of What’s Good About Anger? and a speaker for community, women’s and church organizations.