Understanding Anger – © 2005 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
1. How can I tell when my anger is getting out of control?
Simply stated, you can tell you have a problem with anger when:.. it is too frequent… it is too intense… it lasts too long… it leads to aggression… it disturbs work or relationships… it causes you to feel out of touch with God… it is contrary to scripture.
2. Can someone or something cause me to get angry?
A good analogy is this dialogue between children: “The five year-old was showing a Kindergarten classmate the new weight scale in the bathroom. “What’s it for?” the visitor asked. “I don’t know” the five year-old replied. “all I know is, when you stand on it, it makes you very mad.” Someone or something can seem to make us angry, but God holds us responsible for our reactions, as we read in Col. 3:8: “But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander,” At first we blame the person or situation for our anger, when in reality we choose to be angry based on the beliefs we hold about a particular event.
3. When is anger good?
In Nehemiah 5:6-7, Nehemiah’s angry reaction to social injustice helps him take positive action to confront the oppressive officials in Israel and reverse the injustice. When Jesus was in the Temple He threw out the money-changers & tax collectors to cleanse His Father’s house of corruption. God’s anger is always righteous and holy bringing about justice, and even punishment at times. In Ephesians 4:26, Paul tells us to be angry, but not to sin or keep holding onto anger. “In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (NIV)
Anger is good when God is in control of it, and in control of our behavior and thoughts. Anger can give us energy to act according to God’s will, and help us express our thoughts and feelings in honest but loving ways. Anger can help motivate us to resolve problems and conflict.
Even as Christians we still have a difficult time controlling our anger and giving God control of our actions when we are angry.
What’s Good About Anger will help you learn your triggers, the sources of anger and how to trust that God is able to provide you with power and wisdom to handle situations which precipitate your anger.
© copyright 2005 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC. Lynette is a Marriage and Family Counselor with CounselCare Connection, National Certified Counselor, Anger Management Specialist-IV and Diplomate with the National Anger Management Association. She is the co-author of What’s Good About Anger? and a speaker for community, women’s and church organizations.