Anger is often generated when conflicts arise between people who do not know how to resolve them. Anger Management professionals should teach their clients the skills of conflict resolution. This is done by pointing out the various approaches to conflict resolution, some of which are passive and others more active. These approaches include the following:
- avoidance (withdrawing from conflict),
- accommodating (one person resolves the conflict by giving in to the other person at the expense of his or her own needs),
- Compromising (gains and losses are shared by both people)
- Forcing (one of both people attempt to satisfy their own needs regardless of the impact on the other person)
- Collaborating (both people fully satisfy the needs of other; each individual is a winner)
We teach our clients that the best approach to conflict resolution is sometimes compromise, but almost always collaboration. Collaborating, however, is difficult and requires both people to look beyond the immediate problem and to somehow get on the same side of the issue on a more general level. (For instance, “we disagree on how to raise our daughter, but we both agree something has to be done”).
Collaboration takes creativity and work, but successful collaboration as a conflict resolution strategy can produce two winners and is the most assertive approach to conflict resolution.
For more information on Dr. Ari Novak’s and Dr. Tony Fiore’s approach to anger management training, visit http://www.angercertification.com/
Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
CounselCare Connection, P.C.
Anger Management Institute