When we feel insecure, frustrated and angry, no matter what the reason, we compensate by trying to control. Maybe there are other reasons you have for needing to be in control. Maybe you feel insignificant and when you are in charge, you gain a sense of meaning and self-worth. Whatever the cause, needing to be in control is one of the greatest causes for feeling angry and stressed-out. And when you run life on your own energy, your energy will run out!
What is the answer? Once again, God is answer. Because you will run out of energy trying to control everything and everyone in your life. And you will push your family and friends away from you. No one likes a controller. And you probably really don’t even like yourself. In fact, if this is the reason you are stressed out, because you believe no one can do things better than you or you feel insignificant when others get the credit for something you could have done, then, the real problem is not what stress is doing to you. The problem is how you are going about trying to get your inner needs of security and significance met and that you never really get what you want anyway. No wonder you are stressed! No wonder you still feel badly about yourself and your life.
Instead, you can give God a chance to change your purpose in life and discover the meaning He has for you and discover the power He can give to you. Put Him in charge of your life so He can give you power for living! 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but, a Spirit of power, and love and self-control.”
Stress Buster 3: Take care of your Relationships!
We were made to connect with people. Relationships are very important whether you are an extravert (outgoing) type of person or an introvert (needing more time to yourself).
The Bible talks about all kinds of relationships: family, friends, neighbors, employers, those in authority over us. Having healthy, caring, significant relationships with others gives us meaning for living, encouragement, and companionship throughout our lives.
Relationships can be draining or restoring. If you are in relationships which are unhealthy such as friendships where you are giving more than getting or family members where there is conflict and friction, than, you will feel stressed out. It could be that you tend to be codependent and need boundaries in your relationships. Or it could be that you need to be more assertive in our relationships so that you stop doing things that you really don’t want to do and start doing what God wants you to do!
© copyright 2005 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC. Lynette is a Marriage and Family Counselor with CounselCare Connection, National Certified Counselor, Anger Management Specialist-IV and Diplomate with the National Anger Management Association. She is the co-author of What’s Good About Anger? and a speaker for community, women’s and church organizations.