Hi, I have a friend whose mother is very controlling and stubborn. She says she has anger problems but the mother won’t go see a psychologist because she’s too stubborn. Is there anyway to help the mother and convince her she needs help? I got information that she was once an alcoholic but now she quit.
Answer:
Dear Friend, your friend’s mother would benefit from anger management classes or a home-study course. It’s possible she is dealing with a mental health problem such as depression or anxiety – but, if she refuses counseling or a psychological evaluation – then, suggesting a class or ordering anger management resources could be very helpful.
Anger is normal: Most people need to realize that anger is normal. It is a secondary emotion emanating from deeper hurt, sadness, frustration, expectations, beliefs, fear, thinking, etc. which need to be explored and controlled.
Learning to control anger: When anger is expressed in healthy ways – it is a change agent. Anger can actually change a person from being a passive victim to becoming assertive. An aggressive person can learn to control him or herself. Anger can help people problem-solve versus stagnate. Anger can move people to forgive versus become bitter.
Check out these resources:
What’s Good About Anger? Institute. She will find free articles and courses on this site as well.
© copyright 2005 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC. Lynette is a Marriage and Family Counselor with CounselCare Connection , National Certified Counselor, Anger Management Specialist-IV and Diplomate with the National Anger Management Association. She is the co-author of What’s Good About Anger? and a speaker for community, women’s and church organizations