I hate to having a quick temper since it effects my relationship with my boyfriend in a bad way. i cant control my feelings and i get angry very easily and i cant let things go and sometimes i want to hurt people physically. when i am angry i tell them to not to touch me but actually i want their attention and when they listen to me and not touch i get more angry.. how i can control this?Answer:
Dear Friend, you need to take a time-out whenever you recognize something triggering your anger. Once you are in your time-out… think over what is troubling you – what is the issue? Determine a reasonable request you can make.
I also recommend learning relaxation and stress management skills. You are dealing with very explosive anger and you may need professional counseling for it.
What’s the cause of your anger? People get angry over disappointed expectations, cognitive distortions or “hot self-talk”. It’s important to explore what is going on underneath the anger and work on changing your expectations, distortions or self-talk. Think about taking an anger management course or at least ordering a book or resource to help you gain skills for managing your anger. Check out the Good Anger site for resources. God bless!
© copyright 2006 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC. Lynette is a Marriage and Family Counselor with CounselCare Connection , National Certified Counselor, Anger Management Specialist-IV and Diplomate with the National Anger Management Association. She is the co-author of What’s Good About Anger? and a speaker for community, women’s and church organizations